Sir Les Patterson

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Glossary

Abbos (Abos) dimin. pl. n. Boomerang chuckers; a great little bunch of blokes.
aboriginal activist n. A Yugo ratbag and media freak whose great-great-uncle once stunned a numbat with a boomerang.
Adrian adj. Inebriated; rhyming slang for Adrian Quist [1913- ], famed Australian tennis player.
amber fluid n. Australia’s preferred lubricant.
approachable adj. A politician or law enforcement officer susceptible to discreet financial inducement.
apricots phr. up to the apricots Most of my secretaries know my position on this one; an infallible yardstick for measuring human affection.
arrogant dickhead phr. A charismatic politician after he’s been elected Prime Minister (See charisma).
arvo dimin n. Afternoon; Pommie luncheon period.
ATP n. The Australian taxpayer.

ball breaker n. A sheilah who gives you the knock-back; a uni student.
barker’s egg n. Dog turd (popular on British pavements).
bearded clams pl. n. Tasty morsels of tasty mortals.
Bermudas phr. a case of the Bermuda shorts. Impecunious, short [rhyming slang].
big white telephone n. Dunny.
billabong n. Stagnant swamp [Abo.].
blue phr. to have a blue An altercation involving forceful language.
blurter n. Freckle.
body line phr. A carefully orchestrated attack on Australian cricket by a bunch of monocled Pommy Pooftahs.
bonzer adj. Stunning [arch.].
brown paper bag/envelope n. Australian politicians' and law enforcement officers' preferred receptacle for a backhander of readies.
brownie n. Blurter.
bucket v. To denigrate or bad-mouth.
bum’s rush n. The shove.
bundle phr. to drop one’s bundle To break wind [See under lunch box].
bush-buzzer n. The wife’s best friend.

charisma n. (aboriginal?) An elusive quality possessed by Australian politicians before they are elected Prime Minister (See arrogant dickhead).
chockers adj. Full as a bull’s bum/Catholic school/footie final/fairy’s phone book, etc. [short for chock-a-block; perhaps Indian or Pakistani].
chocko n. A swarthy Grecian or Italian person.
choke a darkie v. To meditate on the big white telephone.
chuck v. & n. Chunder of a colourful and rich consistency.
chunder v. & n. See under chuck.
cobber n. A political colleague worth looking after [See under brown paper bag].
conchie dimin. n. A stupid brown-noser [short for conscientious].
crash-hot adj. Shit-hot [origin unknown].

Daphne obs. n. An uncalled-for type of Australian sheilah named after a long-forgotten lezzo.
date-packer n. A South Australian arts administrator.
donger n. A challenge to a decent tailor.
doughnut n. A non-fattening meal.
drongo n. See droob.
droob n. A cross between a drongo, a dill, a dag, a wet and a wimp.
dunny n. Powder-room [Abo.].

fat, to crack a phr. To think with one’s body.
ferret n. My macho mascot. See doughnut.
flags out phr. To have the flags out [See red sails].
freckle n. See blurter.
Frenchies n. pl. Water-proof sleeping-bags for mice.
full adj. Replete with liquid refreshment, e.g., as full as a footie final, Pommie complaint box, etc.
fun bags pl. n. Norks.
furry hoop n. A doughnut [origin unknown].

goer n. A well-balanced female who knows on what side her bread is buttered.

hair pie n. A snorkeller’s lunch.
hard word phr. to put the hard word on To offer a woman her heart’s desire.
hoppo-bumpo n. A schoolboy game I always won.
hornbag n. A raunchy, yet appealing, bit of she-meat.
hostie n. A goer.

jerkle n. A circle of schoolboys engaged in onanistic practices.
joes phr. to give one the joes To give one the heebie-jeebies.
journo n. A drunk; a failed novelist.

kangaroo n. A large rodent.
kapok-kruncher n. See under date-packer.
kick-back n. See under plain wrappers.
knee-trembler n. A stand up naughty.
knock-back n. See under ball-breaker, lezzo, uni student, etc.
knock-shop n. An adult relaxation facility.

lamington n. An Australian delicacy [named after a prominent Queensland politico].
laughing gear n. The mouth.
lay down misère n. Term used in solo whist, a dead cert, a walk-up start.
lezzo n. A sheilah who won’t come to the party.
lizard phr. to gallop the lizard To twang the wire.
lunch phr. to drop one’s lunch To fart [vulgar].
lunch box phr. to open one’s lunch box To fart [vulgar].

Mick n. A left-footer.
mini series n. An Australian fillum that doesn’t know when to stop.
minister of war n. The spouse [The Lord bless her!].
moolah n. Government grants and/or government revenue [Abo.].
muff muncher n. A snorkeller [also muff diver].

Nips coll. pl. n. The bastards who won the last war as far as I’m concerned.
Noah n. A popular fish [rhyming slang Noah’s Ark shark].
norks pl. n. Fun bags.
nut chokers pl. n. Briefs

ocker n. One of the lost tribes of Australia.
oil slicks pl. n. Grecians [See also Tennant Creeks].
one-prick princess s. n. A spouse [See also minister of war].
orchestrated adj. A typically culture-conscious Australian word.
oxymoron n. An Irish welder.

pan-handler n. An Australian playwright.
pavlova n. A New Zealand pudding named after a dancing daphne of yesteryear.
la Perouse n. Booze [rhyming slang].
pile-driver n. A date-packer [vulgar].
pillow-biter n. A kapok-cruncher.
pink oboe n. A conversation stopper.
pollywaffle n. Ethnic chocolate-coated confectionary that women can only play with two hands [Abo. + vulg.].
pooftah n. A decent bloke who hasn’t met the right sheilah and never will [vulgar and obsolete].

quokka n. A Westralian rat [obsolete].

ratbag n. An Australian enthusiast.
red sails pl. n. An expensive discovery after a good dinner.
ripper adj. Excellent; no worries!
root v. To tenderly embrace without trousers.
rorty adj. Raunchy and naughty [me all over!].
rub and tug shop n. A facility for fitness freaks.
ribbidy n. A hotel [rhyming slang].

Samsonite basher n. A commercial traveller.
scallywag n. A criminal’s description of himself.
scam n. An American expression which has found its true home in Australia.
shag v. To root.
sheila [sheilah] n. A hornbag [vulgar and obsolete].
shirtlifter n. Pooftah [bent rhyming slang].
shonky adj. Sub-standard or shit-house quality [old English].
shoot through phr. To scarper, vamoose.
slash n. A discharge of urine.
sling phr. to sling a bribe/kickback See under State Premier.
slopie n. An industrious slant-eyed ethnic minority.
spag n. Probably not a Vietnamese; an Italian? [affectionate].
squiz n. An optic.
strides n. Trousers.
stubbie n. An Australian staple; a chubby beer bottle.
stunning adj. Bonzer [modern Aust.].
sugar bag n. A traditional Australian receptacle for emoluments, readies and kickbacks [obs.].

Tasmania n. Universally used to describe baseless allegations against innocent politicians. [See oxymoron].
Tasmania, map of n. A triangular bushy zone subject to extreme temperature changes.
technicolour yawn n. A liquid laugh.
Tennant Creek n. A Macedonian [rhyming slang].
thank you phr. Unique Australian usage for ‘please’, e.g., ‘I’d like another beer, thanks’.
thong n. An informal Australian item of Taiwanese footwear not always acceptable in revolving restaurants.
throttling pit n. A powder room [origin unknown].
tiger, to park a phr. To puke prodigiously.
toey adj. A goer [turf usage].
Tongue sandwich n. A kiss to build a dream on.
trouser dance n. A traditional post-imbibition, pre-coital courtship ritual frequently performed with the lights off and in the presence of an unconscious partner.
tucker n. Blotting paper.
turps phr. to nudge the turps To enjoy liquid refreshment.
twig phr. to drop off the twig, to jump the twig A typically sensitive Australian reference to the fragility of life.

ugly stick n. A magic wand which has been waved at many a spouse and at most Daphnes.

vinegar strokes (medical) The penultimate phase in sexual connection when the active partner experiences a facial rictus similar to that produced by drinking vinegar (information supplied by a doctor).

walloper n. A donger.
wick phr. to dip the wick To make a woman’s dreams come true.
wife’s best friend n. A walloper.
wowser n. A stupid bastard or teetotaller [supposed to be an acronym of W(e) O(nly) W(ant) S(ocial) E(vils) R(emedied)].

yabbie n. (Y)oung (A)ustralian (B)oring (B)usinessman.
yartz n. Culture Australian style.
yellow velvet n. An amenable Oriental.
yuckkie n. Y(oung) U(rban) C(atholic) K(apok)-K(runcher).
Yugo n. A delightful Yugoslavian resident of Australia.
yummie n. Y(oung) U(pwardly) M(asticating) M(arsupial), [Aboriginal word].

zipper sniffer n. A bloody nuisance.