Sir Les Patterson

The Unofficial Webshite

Sir Les and his Little Thingo

Sir Les can be seen fronting the campaign to promote the tablet and mobile editions of The Daily Telegraph, Herald Sun, The Courier-Mail and The Advertiser using News Corp’s tablet app.

To maintain my cultured, urbane and well-informed image I start my day with the tablet edition of The Daily Telegraph.

Love Songs for Sir Les

We knew that Sir Les Patterson wouldn’t stay out of the limelight for long. The Adelaide Cabaret Festival has announced a show called Love Songs for Sir Les reports The Australian. Our favourite cheese connoisseur has gathered a merry band of chanteuses, charmers and jesters.

“It’s Les as a sort of emcee, with a lot of very good artists singing love songs, and Les will be a jarring element, I should think,” Humphries says from Los Angeles, where he is currently on tour with Dame Edna Everage.

“I think Les is going to sing a couple of his own compositions, and he’s going to introduce the evening.”

For anyone in the Adelaide area the cabaret festival runs from June 5th to the 20th.

Les Get Cookin'

Chef Les

Last night was the final date on the Eat Pray Laugh! tour of the U.K. and our hero did not disappoint. Despite picking up a terrible case of the trots from a Mexican fact finding mission, Les battled on bravely.

With all the major and minor T.V. networks in the audience Les pitched his new culinary show Les Get Cookin'. Needing to impress Les cooked up his signature dish, Rissoles. Minced meat, onion, courgette and spices all mixed by fingers of a former Australian diplomat. Unfortunately, due to an enlarged saliva duct that he’s had since birth, the ingredients were a little moist, but a quick roll in the flour and it was onto the hot plate.

A couple were brought up from the audience to assist Sir Les. The woman seemed to be overcome standing so close to Leslie and she lunged at his trouser snake. Les was quick to react and kept her probing fingers out of harm’s way. As we know the Patterson appendage is reserved for Thai shelias, government sponsored ceiling inspectors and on a rare occasion, Lady Gwen.

Sir Les had to pay a second trip to the onstage lavatory and that was the last we saw of him. But surely the sight of his beckoning hand around the dunny door, gesturing for anything absorbent, can’t be the last we’ll see of him.

Rumours are that Barry Humphries will take Dame Edna on a U.S. leg of the Eat Pray Laugh! tour. We don’t know if the Sir Les combination of culture and cuisine will make it across the pond.

Sir Les at the London Palladium

The Eat Pray Laugh! tour of the U.K. will include a two-month residency at the London Palladium from November 13. Shows then continue around the country until March 2014.

Sir Les 2013-2014 U.K. Tour

Chef Les

The Eat Pray Laugh! dates have now been announced on the tour web-site.

Sir Les will be whipping up authentic Australian tucker across the length and breadth of these British Isles.

Sir Les Returns to the U.K. in 2013

The Eat Pray Laugh! tour finally arrives in the U.K. for a string of dates in autumn 2013.

  • Milton Keynes Theatre - October 23rd to 26th
  • Wales Millennium Centre, Cardiff - October 30th to November 2nd
  • Edinburgh’s Festival Theatre - November 5th to 9th
  • Final transfer for a season in the West End, venue to be announced

Let’s hope that Sir Les, now a celebrity chef, can get his barbie through customs.

(via Mail Online, Broadway World and

Eat Pray Laugh!

Chef Les

Finally reviews of the Eat Pray Laugh! tour have started to dribble in.

WA Today:

The shows opens with Sir Les Patterson, undaunted by chronic diarrhoea, conducting a celebrity cooking segment in his backyard. He’s as uproarious and politically incorrect as ever: the trouser-snake, the creamy saliva, the demented overbite, and the unabashed political incorrectness; this supreme incarnation of all that’s dire about the Australian male hasn’t changed a whit. And the packed auditorium went wild for it.

The Age:

When it premiered in Sydney two weeks ago, Sir Les had returned from the Mexico City G20 Summit with an upset stomach (“Montezuma’s revenge”) and an ambition to become a celebrity chef. “Since when did diarrhoea interfere with gourmet cooking?” he croaks, his dribble sizzling on the barbecue with his rissoles.

More spice with that? Les has got plenty, some past its use-by date: “I can live without turmeric,” he slobbers over one of the girls from his quartet of hot-bod dancer-helpers, “but I won’t say no to cumin.”

Alas there are no photos of Les’s brother Father Gerard, the Catholic priest who has “touched everyone he has ever met”. I’d wager that Gerard has the same rugged good looks of his former diplomat, now celebrity chef, brother Les.

Barry Humphries to Retire

According to reports in The Telegraph, Herald Sun, Adelaide Now and The Courier-Mail Barry Humphries will retire after his Eat Pray Laugh! tour.

What this means for Sir Les is uncertain, Humphries says:

Les has become a celebrity chef. We’ll have a kitchen on stage and Les working away, clearly preparing a meal for political colleagues.

What are the odds on Sir Les cooking with cheese. Fondue anyone?

Update: Footage of Dame Edna, Barry Humphries and Sir Les, announcing their collective retirement has surfaced on YouTube. The woman presenter correctly classifies Sir Les as the “thinking woman’s bit of crumpet”. (Thanks Mike).

Also there is an official Eat Pray Laugh! website.

The Traveller's Tool ENLARGED

The Traveller's Tool ENLARGED

This announcement from Sir Les himself has just been posted on YouTube:

Hi there my old mate the Australian taxpayer, Sir Les Patterson here.

Now if anybody should be the voice of Australia Day it should be bloody me, diplomat and mate of the Australian taxpayer. So this Australia Day I’m releasing something special, my new comedy CD and book, The Traveller’s Tool ENLARGED. It’s packed with practical advice for the modern man on the move and the woman who waits on him hand and foot.

Get yourself a load of Sir Les. Come on Australia!

Sir Les Backstage

Footage of Sir Les backstage at The Priority One Concert has surfaced on YouTube.

This shows our hero ‘shredding’ - as I believe the youngsters call it - on his ‘hot pink’ instrument. Strange that Sir Les chose that particular guitar to warm up on as he generally favours a Fender Stratocaster.

Sir Les at Christmas


An Address on Australia Day

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A Recent Sighting