With news of Sir Les being practically non-existent, it’s thanks to YouTube user iano444 for uploading an interview with Mike Parkinson. Apart from ‘circa 1985′ in the title there’s no other description. It must have been a show that Mike did down-under as the other guests were: Barry Jones, Australian politician and Jackie Weaver, Australian actress.

Sir Les is impeccably dressed in a new ‘bag of fruit’ from a new tailor in Kowlo who supplies them a half dozen at a time. He is still championing Australia around the globe, always dipping into his slush fund whilst suffering from permanent jetlag.

Mike probes our hero and learns that Sir Les will indeed be attending the Royal Wedding at St. Paul’s Abbey, which seems to indicate the wedding of Andrew and Sarah in 1986.

Of course no interview is complete without a plug for The Australian Cheese Board. This time a fine Tasmanian Stilton had been in for a sniffing, the only way to appreciate fine cheese.

The best was saved until last and this beautiful:

Ode to Parky
by Sir Les

There’s a bloke who’s keenly watched and widely read
Who always hits the nail on the head
In the UK he started his career
Now he’s hit the jackpot over here

If he gets nervous, well it’s never showed
His face is like a mile of rugged road
His crows feet are the dried up beds of smiles
And his best friends are aware that he’s got piles…
of charm, pazazz and british spunk and phlegm

Of TV interviewers he’s the gem
He could interview a Zulu or Iraqi and make it interesting
His name is Parky

This bloke can conjure laughter and applause
In the wake of ratbags, puffs and crashing bores
And if he’s pushed for spicy dialog
He’ll ask you if you’ve ever nudged the grog

The TV critics here are chippy guys
They’ll try to chop old Parky down to size
A few might say, “Go back where you’ve come from”
“We won’t be taught charisma by a pom”

But he knows the average Aussie journalist
Is following orders, jealous or half pissed
He smiles, he does his job, he doesn’t care
When you’re the ace, where do you go from there

So whether you be Hun or Nip or Darkie
Raise your glass of lager, rum or Saki
And drink to my old cobber
Dear old Parky

Brings a tear to the eye doesn’t it.

Yes, the latest Sir Les news is that there is no news. Since the shows in Australia last December there have been no reported sightings of our hero. We can only assume that he is championing Australian culture, yartz and fillums around the globe.

The Sir Les Patterson page on Wikipedia has been updated by a group of people who know more about him than I do. His origins, appearances on stage and screen, a biography, published works and an exhaustive list of his professional career. It’s well worth a read.

The full interview with Mike Parkinson has been added to YouTube by RettroKunk. Sir Les is deftly probed by Parky about his image, the Australian film industry and the strain of staying faithful to Lady Patterson. With thoughts of his wife being half a world away he sings a delicate pean to Gwen called ‘My Old Lady’. The only thing that spoils the video footage is the occasional glimpses of Brian Humphries sat in the audience.

The reviews for the Australian shows, in Sydney and Melbourne, seem to be positive compared to those of the U.K. Barry Humphries spoke to The Sydney Morning Herald before the concerts and said of our hero, “So far there has been no resistance to the idea of having Sir Les appear… but there is sure to be a whole body of resistance afterwards.”

In the second half the urbane intelligence of Humphries made way for the carefully honed repulsiveness of Sir Les Patterson, who led an audience rendition of O’Hagan’s Along the Road to Gundagai.

The Sydney Morning Herald

We sang along to the 1922 classic, the theme to the Dad and Dave radio show, Along the Road to Gundagai and cringed, ogled and applauded as Sir Les hammed up the Humphries’s original Chardonnay, a waltz cum drinking song in supremely bad taste.

Guest pianist Dejan Lazic, who was onstage for Sir Les’s act, was one of the few who looked bemused that such a repellent character was a star attraction.

Australian Stage

The Patterson song cycle paid tribute to Peter Dawson, Australian jazzman Graeme Bell (still going strong at 95) and Rod Stewart, with Sir Les’s seminal version of Do Ya Think I’m Sexy? finding the ACO in disco mode.

Mt Druitt Standard

The second half was given over to Sir Les and Dame Edna. Spitting profusely and groping his “trouser-snake”, Sir Les’s blue-streaked banter was more compelling than his Rex Harrison-like speech-singing in a bracket of classic popular songs.

The Australian

Then it was time for the gloriously repulsive Sir Les Patterson to take charge of the show. He was full of booze-fuelled enthusiasm and the front row probably wished they had been issued disposable ponchos to protect them from the shower of fragrant spittle that rained down.

Equally delightful were his renditions of songs including The Stockriders’ Song and Along The Road To Gundagai, as well as fabulously cringe-worthy versions of Chardonnay and Do Ya Think I’m Sexy?.

Daily Telegraph

Amazon.co.uk has a double CD of The Last Night of the Poms listed on their web-site. The release date is 4th September 2009 so it can’t be an audio recording of the recent performances. Unfortunately there is very little information other than it’s a 2009 digital remaster that is labeled as being an ‘import’. It is also available as an MP3 download. The Sir Les related tracks are :-

• Fanfare For A Cultural Attache
• Sir Les Introduces Peter And The Shark
• Peter And The Shark

You could just buy those 3 Sir Les tracks for £7.37 but you may as well buy them all for just £8.69.

This audio is also available on iTunes for £9.99.

The first performance of the Last Night Of The Poms tour was held at the Royal Albert Hall in London yesterday. With the monologues, by both Sir Les and Dame Edna, being well received it seems that reviewers took a dislike to the musical passages.

A dishevelled Sir Les continually sprayed the front row with spittle as he swigged from a whiskey glass and remarked of the poor weather outside: “dampness is not always a bad thing is it fellas?” Claiming to have been as “busy as a Baghdad bricklayer” this gaudy buffoon gave The Secret Policeman’s Ball a run for its money when it came to subjecting the regal surrounds of the Albert Hall to filth and puerility. It was joyous to behold but so sadly short.

The Independent

The first [half] opens with an irresistible 10 minutes from Sir Les, who refines slobbering into an artform: the laughs flow according to the height hit by his spittle as it arcs towards the front row. It isn’t sophisticated, but it’s brilliantly disrespectful – as are Sir Les’s unreconstructed jokes about “little Thai sheilas” and Peter Mandelson’s urologist. So it feels plain wrong when Patterson’s patter cedes to his Prokofiev parody, Peter and the Shark. Neither the text, nor the music is funny – and the style of each is cramped by the other.

The Guardian

After a sweeping overture conducted by Carl Davis, Barry Humphries appeared in the guise of Sir Les Patterson, cultural attaché extraordinaire, dribbling more than a Roy Hattersley Spitting Image puppet. Patterson is a magnificent monster and his 75-year-old creator was on filthily fine form, insulting the stony-faced Sheilas in the front row and boorishly berating latecomers.

This is London

In support, Humphries’s cultural attaché Sir Les Patterson suffers the same problems. His musical piece is Peter And The Shark, an Australianised version of the Prokofiev piece, with various instruments illustrating various characters drawn from antipodean fauna in a tedious gag-light story, slowed to a wearying pace by the soloists’ interludes.

Yet again, when he’s left to his own devices, Patterson’s a delight. Sure, a lot of the comedy comes from Strine slang such as ‘budgie smugglers’ for Speedos or other cheap innuendo, but he does it excellently, with all the exaggerated flair of a pantomime grotesque.

But mostly, he’s funny for no more sophisticated reason that the arching waterfalls of phlegm that spew from his mouth and over the audience every time he hits a plosive ‘p’ sound, which seems to occur with undue frequency. If the front row had dipped into the Royal Albert Hall merely to avoid the downpour outside, they would have found themselves more drenched inside the building than out.

Chortle: The UK Comedy Guide

It started well with Les Patterson delivering 15 minutes of the kind of filth we have grown to love him for – but then it all went wrong. He then proceeded to deliver a rambling monologue, accompanied by a full orchestra, about a story called “Peter and the Shark”. It wasn’t funny, it wasn’t memorable. In fact, it wasn’t anything.

Iain Dale’s Diary

But only for Australians during December. Barry Humphries, Dame Edna Everage and Sir Les Patterson will be performing with the Australian Chamber Orchestra according to the ACO web-site :-

• Sydney Opera House, Sydney – Monday December 14th
• Sydney Opera House, Sydney – Tuesday December 15th
• The Arts Centre, Melbourne – Wednesday December 16th

According to the Manchester Evening News web-site the Last Night Of The Poms tour won’t be visiting Manchester with 8 of the 13 dates being removed from the schedule. This has been put down to ‘to unforeseen circumstances’ which translates to poor ticket sales.

Due to the size of the production it could only be staged in arenas, instead of the more traditional theatre circuit for such a show. The tour could come back next year albeit scaled down.

He could well be. That’s according to an interview with Barry Humphries and the Manchester Evening News.

I’ve always thought of myself as a northern comedian, because the further north I go the more comfortable I tend to feel.

Barry says that Sir Les has yet to make an appearance on American soil.

I’ve not really tried him out on the Americans yet, because Les has a kind of music hall vulgarity that might offend the survivors of Plymouth Rock, the inheritors of that Puritan tradition. Every now and then, I look into an American audience and right at the back I can see some tall black hats.

Sir Les, being a diplomat, just wants to increase the bond between England and Australia.

He doesn’t feel you need to know anything more about culture, so he’s concentrating on cheese. He’s chairman of the Australian Cheese Board and he does a lot of cheese promotion. He will be discussing cheese in the presence of a full orchestra when he comes to Manchester. His recommendation? Tasmanian mauve vein. It comes in a cylindrical form.

When Sir Les hits the stage in Manchester on Wednesday, September 16, a whiff of Australia’s finest cheese is sure to follow.

In an article entitled Put Your Faith In Cheeses for The Spectator (Australian branch), Sir Les confesses that his lady wife Gwen wouldn’t allow any cheese into the marital home. For a connoisseur and ambassador for the Australian cheese industry, such as Sir Les, that must have put a terrible strain on their marriage. Fortunately, the ever resourceful, Les sought comfort near the cheese counters of supermarkets. On the look out for housewives who slip a Tasmanian camembert into their trolley.

From his love of Kraft cheese as a boy, to the Endeavour Blue that is served at all the Patterson functions, Sir Les certainly has his nose to the rind.

Sir Les and Dame Edna will be touring venues in England, Scotland and Wales this autumn in a show billed as the Last Night Of The Poms.

• SECC & Clyde Auditorium, Glasgow – Friday September 11th
• Usher Hall, Edinburgh – Saturday September 12th
• Royal Albert Hall, London – Tuesday September 15th
• Manchester Evening News Arena, Manchester – Wednesday September 16th
• Brighton Centre, Brighton – Friday September 18th
• The National Indoor Arena, Birmingham – Tuesday September 22nd
• Sheffield Arena, Sheffield – Wednesday September 23rd
• Cardiff International Arena, Cardiff – Friday September 25th
• Bournemouth International Centre, Bournemouth – Saturday September 26th
• Odyssey Arena, Belfast – Tuesday September 29th
• Liverpool Echo Arena, Liverpool – Friday October 2nd
• Trent FM Arena Nottingham, Nottingham – Saturday October 3rd

Sir Les was conspicuous by his absence at the shows in San Francisco earlier this year. But now that President Barack Obama is safely in office he can resume his duties providing intimate lectures to arena audiences. Carl Davis CBE will also be present to conduct the band.

Be warned that venues will not supply water-proofs to attendees in the first 4 rows during the lecture.

Latest reports suggest that the more fanatic Sir Les followers, known as ‘The Diplomats’, have already started camping outside venues 24 hours before tickets officially go on sale. But that maybe a lie.

Dame Edna Everage on her way to Liverpool for Last Night of the Poms – Liverpool Daily Post.co.uk
Good news, Possums! – Chortle : The UK Comedy Guide
Sir Les Patterson Tour Dates & Tickets – ents24.com

There will, however, be the introduction to an American audience, for the very first time, of Sir Les Patterson. He’s a character that’s been in my repertoire for a long time. He’s a very overweight – or, as you say in the States, “heavyset” – gross Australian politician in a stained powder-blue suit, deeply stained tie, always carrying a drink, who’s now the Australian ambassador to the States. This will be an experiment to see how people take it, because he’s such a contrast to Edna. He’s very good for political comment.

That’s Barry Humphries describing Sir Les to the San Francisco Chronicle.

It appears that Sir Les has become the Australian ambassador to the United States of America. No doubt he’ll be involved in high-level talks with President-elect Barack Obama.

Our new Prime Minister, Kevin Rudd (the dentist), has had as many overseas trips at the taxpayers’ expense as I have. Unlike a couple of his predecessors, he has not sought my advice about discreet rub-and-tug shops in Bangkok, though I would have been delighted to assist him should he be desirous of getting his rocket polished in a tasteful setting. He needs to watch his back, however, because Malcolm Turnbull – the next prime minister, incidentally – is waiting for the first opportunity to shaft him. Malcolm, like me, comes from a good old Irish-Australian background, but he once gave me a serve in the British press, accusing me of damaging Australia’s overseas image. I didn’t give a stuff because, quite frankly, I am Australia’s overseas image. But I had to hand it to old Mal. If you’re a nonentity, as he was at the time, the best way to get a bit of publicity is to impugn the patriotism of a bloke everyone knows and loves. I felt like shaking his hand, though my hand was pretty busy at the time. Are you with me?

Diary and Diplomatic Notebook both from The Spectator

More footage of Sir Les has appeared on YouTube.

• Alan Jones Interviewing Sir Les Patterson – Sir Les admits that he started in politics because of the perks and answers the tough questions of the day from the shows callers.
• Peter Cook & Les Patterson opening Melbourne Comedy Festival – news footage of the opening of the first comedy festival back in 1987.

Finally the BBC2 documentary, made by Sir Les in 1997, called Sir Les and The Great Chinese Takeaway has been added to YouTube. Thanks to MaskedApple this rare historical footage has been saved for fellow Sir Les fans to study and enjoy.

This only begs the question, considering that it was uploaded at the beginning of the year, why has it taken me so long to find it?

The clip of the recent Channel 4 documentary, Barry Humphries: The Man Inside Dame Edna, that featured Sir Les has now been added onto the media page.

It shows Sir Les relaxing in an exclusive Melbourne bar, with a glass of scotch and a government sponsored research assistant called Holly close to his side.

I met Barry Humphries only about twice in my life, and it was two times too many. He’s up himself, and I don’t get the point of him. He’s not my type and he is not a good representative of Australia. That’s all I want to say, I’m saying no more.

Sir Les confesses that when he was younger he was worried that he was deformed, he also puts to rest the superstition that Australia doesn’t have any culture and that he hasn’t picked anything up in Bangkok that has lasted for very long. He also gives valuable advice on dry cleaning garments.

According to the Reuters news agency Barry Humphries has been ordered to rest for six months by his doctors after complications over his appendix surgery. This, of course, means that his North American tour and his appearance at the Magners Glasgow International Comedy Festival have both been cancelled.

At last, and only a week or so later than previously mentioned, the documentary Barry Humphries: The Man Inside Dame Edna is being shown on Channel 4 in the UK next Wednesday at 10:00pm.

According to the TV Times Barry goes back to his roots during his 2007 tour or Australia, reflecting on the people and places that inspired his two most famous creations, Dame Edna Everage and Sir Les Patterson.

Barry Humphries had his appendix removed on Sunday, according to NEWS.com.au.

His illness interrupted festive plans including missing the New Year’s Eve fireworks in Sydney. Harley Medcalf, his manager, said that the Melbourne comic was recovering well.

Barry is due to start the Dame Edna Live and Intimate tour in the US later this month.

We wish him well.

A copy of the Back with a Vengeance tour brochure has been purchased for the archive. It contains a few photos of the great man and also a poem entitled In Terms of My Natural Life.

Thanks to Kurt, a fellow Sir Les fan, for pointing out that Sir Les wrote the preface to The Complete Barry McKenzie publication.

The web-site has had a formal and more business-like redesign that befits the high-powered image of an Australian elder Statesman.

The UK’s Channel 4 will screen a new documentary called Barry Humphries: Behind The Make-Up next month according to The Sun. A camera crew will follow Barry as he returns to his Australian roots including the streets where he grew up and the school he attended.

A C4 spokeswoman said: “He’s a comic genius who has produced some of the most enduring characters of the past 50 years such as Dame Edna and Sir Les Patterson.

“The programme investigates how he has turned unadulterated vulgarity, snobbery and pretension into comedy gold.

“It features some of his oldest and closest friends recalling how he emerged from the Melbourne suburbs to conquer the world. It’s a rare glimpse of the man behind the diamante glasses.”

Barry Humphries received his CBE from the Queen today reports the Daily Mail.

Regarding his little chat with the Queen he said that: “Les wasn’t mentioned either. He’s already a knight but I’m not certain it’s legal.”

Is this the first time that the validity of Sir Les’s knighthood has been questioned?

Update
Bazza’s big moment at the palace – The Sydney Morning Herald
Queen awards Humphries CBE – ABC News Video

Another Update
Rod Baxter at Beyond The Billabong has posted the Herald-Sun cartoon by Mark Knight (original 3.3 MB).

You will know doubt recall that Sir Les starred in a McDonald’s advert that was shown during the 2000 Sydney Olympics. Well the actual suit that he wore for the advert is up for sale on eBay.

SIR LES PATTERSON SUIT (BARRY HUMPHRIES – DAME EDNA)

Genuine suit worn by Barry Humphries to promote Mcdonalds campaign, in the 2000 Sydney Olympics.

Items include : Jacket complete with “Sir Les” Mayo dribble, trousers and tie.

Authentication letter written by “Sir Les” himself

Will make ideal focal and talking point

Must not be missed by any fans of Barry Humphries

Of course what the description fails to mention is that it has been handcrafted from the finest Australian polyester. It’s also fair to assume that it’s a ‘large’ size. The starting price is £299.99 and it has a reserve so don’t all bid at once.

More content has now been added thanks to fellow Sir Les fan, David Tanton.

David kindly sent in scans of two newspaper clippings which are now on the articles page. Also an audio interview with Sir Les by fellow Australian Clive James is now on the media page.

Another YouTube clip of Sir Les was added to the media page during the week taken from The Dame Edna Experience DVD.

A Sir Les Patterson Google Group has now been set-up so that fans can discuss the life, the work and the sartorial elegance of the great man. There is also a files section so that members can upload any rare pictures that they may have. Currently there are only two members. There must be more fans of Sir Les out there!

The photograph of Sir Les is from an article on the BBC web-site which reports on Barry Humphries being honoured the CBE. If only they could spell our heroes name correctly.

The last clip of Sir Les on The Dame Edna Treatment show has been added to the media page. The final show in the series was aired in the UK on ITV1 at the weekend.

Brother Les congratulated Dame Edna on fifty fantastic years, proving that the finest medical minds have not cured his projectile saliva affliction. Sir Les says that he has found his true calling and has formed his own production company making tasteful and informative adult fillums and fly-on-the-wall documentaries.

Barry Humphries has been awarded a CBE in today’s birthday honours.

The Guardian report that the actor and author heard the news as he came off stage in Australia. “I’m deeply honoured,” he said. “At last I can address Sir Les Patterson and Dame Edna Everage on an improved footing.”

Mark Shenton, in his blog at The Stage, reports on the Back With A Vengeance show in Sydney.

He describes Sir Les as “Edna’s legendary warm-up artist” and quotes the great man as saying: “I’m as busy as Heather Mills in an arse-kicking contest.” Sir Les was also noted mentioning an idea for a reality TV show set in an all-woman prison. The general public, would vote for “which lezzos you want to see locked up together for the night.” This was no doubt followed by “are you with me?”

Dame Edna is continuing her celebration of 50 years in showbiz with a dozen shows at the Lyric Theatre The Sunday Mail reports.

The show will be a heady concoction of “beautiful gowns, gladdies and gifts, psychic readings and a little healing”.

Sir Les will also be making a “tasteful and hopefully sober appearance”.

More video clips of Sir Les have been added to the media page via YouTube. The majority were taken from the Heroes of Comedy: Barry Humphries programme that was shown on Channel 4 on October 30^th 1999.

The show was an hour and a half long and featured interviews with Barry Humphries and Dame Edna with contributions from Joan Rivers, Kylie Minogue, Geoffrey Rush and Spike Milligan.

This weeks Health & Lifestyle Around the World clip has also been added. Joe Calzaghe and Amir Khan both hit the canvas at high speed after meeting a man at the height of his powers as a diplomat and a pugilist. I think Sir Les had ‘Notable Australian Cheese’ on the back of his shirt. It was hard to tell because his well-honed physique was just a blur.

The clip of Barry Humphries, Dame Edna Everage and Sir Les Patterson on Channel 4’s 100 Greatest Stand-Ups has been added to the media page. The three took the 82^nd spot as voted for by visitors to the Channel 4 web-site.

Details of the cassette version of Live & Rampant! Les Patterson Has A Standup have been added to the lectures page. The tape inlay has an extensive note from Sir Les and includes a list of 10 Reasons Why You Should Buy Someone The Les Patterson Tape & Video.

Two new documents have been added to the articles page. The first entitled Mongrel B*st*rds from The Spectator in 2000 and the other Pop your cork this Christmas from the London Evening Standard of the same year.

The Sun have managed to get the scoop on tonight’s The Dame Edna Treatment. Sir Les, as part of his Health & Lifestyle Around the World segment, will be taught how to lap dance by Carmen Electra from Baywatch.

A new media page has been added. This has the A Late Lunch with Les television programme and also the new Health & Lifestyle Around the World segments from The Dame Edna Treatment shows.

Before you ask, no Sir Les has not lost a lot of weight, the show is broadcast in the 16:9 widescreen ratio and YouTube only use the standard 4:3.

It seems that Shilpa Shetty gets to meet Sir Les during The Dame Edna Treatment, The Sun reports.

The Bollywood actress was not impressed by Sir Les and looks a little overcome at meeting a man at the height of his sexual powers.

Times Online talks to Dame Edna about The Dame Edna Treatment, which airs on ITV1 in the UK tonight. She says that only “real stars” will be invited and that her greatest achievement to-date is the creation of the Prostate Olympics.

Sir Les gets a brief mention somewhere.

Dame Edna gives an interview with TV Times magazine talking about her new show The Dame Edna Treatment. The show airs on ITV1 in the UK on Saturday at 9.40pm (repeated Monday at 11.00pm).

Dame Edna will interview guests as they are receiving beauty treatments in her own health spa. The spa has been setup to help her dysfunctional daughter, Valmai, who will act has Dame Edna’s helper after Madge retired.

Sir Les also makes an appearance, offering his own lifestyle advice.

A new articles page has been added containing an interview with Sir Les that was printed in the Autumn/Winter 1988 copy of Arena. This is Britain’s original style magazine for men. Sir Les discusses his loyalty to Australian polyester and assures us that his kangaroo leather shoes are made from animals that were humanely culled.

Barry Humphries, who was 73 last Saturday, talks to The Sydney Morning Herald about slowing down being the last thing on his mind. He spoke about London in the 1960s, a television series for Dame Edna called The Edna Treatment and the possibility of a Dame Edna film which would be directed by Douglas McGrath the man behind Infamous. Apparently Sir Alec Guinness once described Sir Les as “ghastly”.

Dame Edna tells The Daily Telegraph that the Back with a Vengeance show will contain references to current affairs and politics. Sir Les was described as an ‘old acquaintance’.

The Sydney Star Observer report on the Back with a Vengeance press conference that Dame Edna gave and quiz her about her gay following. Sir Les was called an ‘alter ego’. Barry Humphries also managed to get a mention.

The Sydney Morning Herald report that Dame Edna held a news conference to announce her new Back with a Vengeance stage show in Sydney in May. Sir Les will also appear but only under contractual obligation.

Sir Les was apparently last seen entering a Bangkok ‘Rub & Tug’ shop clutching a fistful of hard currency generously donated, as always, by the Australian tax-payer.