The Eat Pray Laugh! dates have now been announced on the tour web-site.

Sir Les will be whipping up authentic Australian tucker across the length and breadth of these British Isles.

The Eat Pray Laugh! tour finally arrives in the U.K. for a string of dates in autumn 2013.

• Milton Keynes Theatre – October 23rd to 26th
• Wales Millennium Centre, Cardiff – October 30th to November 2nd
• Edinburgh’s Festival Theatre – November 5th to 9th
• Final transfer for a season in the West End, venue to be announced

Let’s hope that Sir Les, now a celebrity chef, can get his barbie through customs.

(via Mail Online, Broadway World and Playbill.com)

Finally reviews of the Eat Pray Laugh! tour have started to dribble in.

WA Today:

The shows opens with Sir Les Patterson, undaunted by chronic diarrhoea, conducting a celebrity cooking segment in his backyard. He’s as uproarious and politically incorrect as ever: the trouser-snake, the creamy saliva, the demented overbite, and the unabashed political incorrectness; this supreme incarnation of all that’s dire about the Australian male hasn’t changed a whit. And the packed auditorium went wild for it.

The Age:

When it premiered in Sydney two weeks ago, Sir Les had returned from the Mexico City G20 Summit with an upset stomach (“Montezuma’s revenge”) and an ambition to become a celebrity chef. “Since when did diarrhoea interfere with gourmet cooking?” he croaks, his dribble sizzling on the barbecue with his rissoles.

More spice with that? Les has got plenty, some past its use-by date: “I can live without turmeric,” he slobbers over one of the girls from his quartet of hot-bod dancer-helpers, “but I won’t say no to cumin.”

Alas there are no photos of Les’s brother Father Gerard, the Catholic priest who has “touched everyone he has ever met”. I’d wager that Gerard has the same rugged good looks of his former diplomat, now celebrity chef, brother Les.

According to reports in The Telegraph, Herald Sun, Adelaide Now and The Courier-Mail Barry Humphries will retire after his Eat Pray Laugh! tour.

What this means for Sir Les is uncertain, Humphries says:

Les has become a celebrity chef. We’ll have a kitchen on stage and Les working away, clearly preparing a meal for political colleagues.

What are the odds on Sir Les cooking with cheese. Fondue anyone?

Update: Footage of Dame Edna, Barry Humphries and Sir Les, announcing their collective retirement has surfaced on YouTube. The woman presenter correctly classifies Sir Les as the “thinking woman’s bit of crumpet”. (Thanks Mike).

Also there is an official Eat Pray Laugh! website.

This announcement from Sir Les himself has just been posted on YouTube:

Hi there my old mate the Australian taxpayer, Sir Les Patterson here.

Now if anybody should be the voice of Australia Day it should be bloody me, diplomat and mate of the Australian taxpayer. So this Australia Day I’m releasing something special, my new comedy CD and book, The Traveller’s Tool ENLARGED. It’s packed with practical advice for the modern man on the move and the woman who waits on him hand and foot.

Get yourself a load of Sir Les. Come on Australia!

Footage of Sir Les backstage at The Priority One Concert has surfaced on YouTube.

This shows our hero ‘shredding’ – as I believe the youngsters call it – on his ‘hot pink’ instrument. Strange that Sir Les chose that particular guitar to warm up on as he generally favours a Fender Stratocaster.

Another clip of Sir Les on Parkinson has been uploaded to YouTube. This time Sir Les is in a festive mood with fellow guests Martine McCutcheon, Tom Jones and Alistair McGowan. It appears that only Sir Les was appropriately dressed for the season.

As usual Sir Les is full of facts gleaned from years in the diplomatic community. Who would have known that Astrid was Scandinavian for astride!

But it’s Lady Gwen who becomes the main topic of conversation.

She’s nice but she’s boring. She could bore the arse-hole in a wooden horse my wife. I mean that lovingly.

Because she gets lonely Sir Les bought her a little dog. Over time the dog stopped responding to her whistle due to an excess of hair in it’s ears. Sir Les suggested buying some hair removal cream from the chemist. Before Gwen could explain the chemist said:

“If you’re using it on your legs, plenty of soap and water because it’s caustic. If it’s for the armpits more soap and water. And if you’re using it on your face Lady Patterson, really you better wash it off quick.” She said, “Actually it’s for my Schnauzer.” He said, “In that case don’t ride a bike for a fortnight.”

It’s only when Parky is winding things up that Martine glances over at our hero and cops an eyeful of his trouser snake. Are you with me?

Tom’s got a bit of competition tonight.

Yes, ‘Entertainment’ is the word on most of Sir Les Patterson’s cheque stubs. This is according to the man himself, announcing the 1984 BAFTA for Best Comedy Series, live from the Grosvenor Hotel in London.

Sir Les kept the celebrity audience entertained by telling a historic joke that had never been told in mixed company before. Thankfully it was suitable for primetime and concerned a little old lady in King’s Cross and three Australian drag queens.

Good old Terry ‘Woges’ Wogan managed to keep it together even when Sir Les announced that he was going to ‘open something up and whip something out’. That would be the winner of the BAFTA for Best Comedy Series, Paul Jackson for The Young Ones.

I’ve got a bit of a cold tonight so if I cough, put your hands over your mouths will you.

According to the BAFTA Awards Database is appears to be 1984 and not 1985 as titled by BlocksVideos on YouTube.

Sir Les sends a stirring and heartfelt message to fellow Australians via the Herald Sun.

Our hero discusses his position as Australian icon, a title that he’s resisted so as not to appear ‘up himself’. He has recently used his charm and a package from the Australian taxpayer to get Oprah Winfrey Down Under. She seemed to be amazed at the variation of muff munchers and shirtlifters but was not overwhelmed by the official gifts.

Sir Les is now busy grooming the current Prime Minister of Australia for the international stage. Les is an expert in this field as he once provided charisma coaching to John Major.

I am as proud as buggery to represent this magnificent land of ours overseas.

God Bless Australia – I only wish we owned it.

With news of Sir Les being practically non-existent, it’s thanks to YouTube user iano444 for uploading an interview with Mike Parkinson. Apart from ‘circa 1985’ in the title there’s no other description. It must have been a show that Mike did down-under as the other guests were: Barry Jones), Australian politician and Jackie Weaver, Australian actress.

Sir Les is impeccably dressed in a new ‘bag of fruit’ from a new tailor in Kowlo who supplies them a half dozen at a time. He is still championing Australia around the globe, always dipping into his slush fund whilst suffering from permanent jetlag.

Mike probes our hero and learns that Sir Les will indeed be attending the Royal Wedding at St. Paul’s Abbey, which seems to indicate the wedding of Andrew and Sarah in 1986.

Of course no interview is complete without a plug for The Australian Cheese Board. This time a fine Tasmanian Stilton had been in for a sniffing, the only way to appreciate fine cheese.

The best was saved until last and this beautiful:

Ode to Parky
by Sir Les

There’s a bloke who’s keenly watched and widely read
Who always hits the nail on the head
In the UK he started his career
Now he’s hit the jackpot over here

If he gets nervous, well it’s never showed
His face is like a mile of rugged road
His crows feet are the dried up beds of smiles
And his best friends are aware that he’s got piles…
of charm, pazazz and british spunk and phlegm

Of TV interviewers he’s the gem
He could interview a Zulu or Iraqi and make it interesting
His name is Parky

This bloke can conjure laughter and applause
In the wake of ratbags, puffs and crashing bores
And if he’s pushed for spicy dialog
He’ll ask you if you’ve ever nudged the grog

The TV critics here are chippy guys
They’ll try to chop old Parky down to size
A few might say, “Go back where you’ve come from"
"We won’t be taught charisma by a pom”

But he knows the average Aussie journalist
Is following orders, jealous or half pissed
He smiles, he does his job, he doesn’t care
When you’re the ace, where do you go from there

So whether you be Hun or Nip or Darkie
Raise your glass of lager, rum or Saki
And drink to my old cobber
Dear old Parky

Brings a tear to the eye doesn’t it.