Sir Les Patterson

The Traveller's Tool

When Sir Les Patterson at last agreed to wet his nib and set down on paper his guide for the modern man on the move he made his intention very clear:

I’m a man’s man and I call a spade a spade, so if you’re a blue-nosed wowzer, a raving pillow-biter or a loony old lezzo with a face like a half-sucked mango, I’d chuck this book away now because in the pages that follow I employ the direct, no-holds-barred lingo of a serious Australian diplomat at the top of his profession and the height of his sexual powers.

In The Traveller’s Tool Australia’s most articulate high-flyer lays bare the international life-style as he has lived it. The book is not only packed with practical advice, but is also, in Sir Les’s own words, ‘as funny as buggery’.

Sex Down Under - What a Red-Blooded Bloke Might Come Up Against is a self-explanatory chapter title typical of Sir Les’s state-of-the-art approach to matters that the majority of readers will have in hand as they fondle the raunchy reading material.

The book includes advice on drinking (“I’ve got full on everything in the alcoholic alphabet from Advocaat to Zambucca, no worries”) and some tips for the married man (how to keep the wife off the scent). Sir Les’s Blue Guide to his favourite hot-spots around the globe will fill a gap felt by every randy, high-profile world traveller and Sexual Abuse in the Work-place - A Buyer’s Guide examines one of today’s burning social issues.

The Australian Tongue - How and Where to Use It is a guide to contemporary Oz-speak from Abo to Zipper-ripper for visitors to Sir Les’s beloved, wide-brown continent. Readers will find a large appendage at the back of the book which includes jokes for every occasion and Sir Les’s all purpose speech which will stand on in good stead whether accepting the Americas Cup or categorically denying scurrilous, tasteless and baseless allegations of corruption at the highest level.

The Traveller’s Tool is an up-market man’s man’s manual which will find its place next to the Nivea on every executive’s bedside table.

The Author

Wit, sage, raconteur, late Cultural Attaché to the Court of St James; Sir Les Patterson is all these - and more. Millions of people around the world have enjoyed Sir Les’s stage and television appearances with Dame Edna Everage and men everywhere hope to emulate his raunchy, no-holds-barred life-style. Sir Les Patterson is a career diplomat whose present role as Chairperson of the Australian Chapter of the International Cheese Board takes him all over the globe. He and Lady Patterson (former hand model, Gwen Dolan) have two children, Craig and Karen.

Attention music lovers everywhere. Les Patterson, the thinking man’s Leonard Cohen, has laid down twelve inches of hot tracks including, “Give Her One For Christmas”, “My Motel Mini-Bar” and “Never Trust A Man Who Doesn’t Drink”.

Now available at all up-market record shops.