The Traveller's Tool

The Traveller's Tool

Wit, sage, raconteur, late Cultural Attaché to the Court of St James; Sir Les Patterson is these - and many more. Millions of people around the world have enjoyed Sir Les’s stage appearances with Dame Edna Everage and men everywhere hope to emulate his raunchy, no-holds-barred life-style. In this book, Sir Les shows you how.

Packed with advice on all the most important features of a man’s man’s life-style, the topics covered include drinking (“I’ve got full on everything in the alcoholic alphabet from Advocaat to Zambucca, no worries”) and sex (how to keep the wife off the scent - usually using the invaluable Les’s Blue Guide to hot-spots around the globe). There is also a section on The Australian Tongue - How and Where to Use It which is also a guide to contemporary Oz-speak from Abo to Zipper-Ripper. A large appendage at the back provides jokes for every occasion and Sir Les’s all purpose speech is just the ticket for any situation.

I’m a man’s man and I call a spade a spade, so if you’re a blue-nosed wowzer, a raving pillow-biter or a loony old lezzo with a face like a half-sucked mango, I’d chuck this book away now because in the pages that follow I employ the direct, no-holds-barred lingo of a serious Australian diplomat at the top of his profession and the height of his sexual powers.

The Travellers Tool is the state-of-the-art guide for the modern man on the move - don’t leave home without it.

Hundreds of pages of pure filth” - Richard Ingrams, Spectator

“A truly coarse series of observations” - Sunday Telegraph

“Painfully funny but very filthy” - Northern Echo


Copyright © International Services Ltd 1985
Coronet edition 1986
ISBN 0 340 39676 8

Sir Les


The online archive of Dr. Sir Leslie Colin Patterson. Wit, sage, raconteur, late Cultural Attaché to the Court of St James and Chairperson of the Australian Chapter of the International Cheese Board.

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