12 Inches Of Les

A Live Performance by Dr. Sir Leslie Colin Patterson, K.B.E.

12 Inches Of Les

From the desk of

Dr. Sir Leslie Colin Patterson, K.B.E.

Cables: YARTZ (U.K.)

Dear Music Lover,

I’m Australia’s best loved diplomat, no worries, but I’m certainly no kill-joy or blue-nosed wowser, to use an old ethnic Australian expression.

An old mate of mine Ken (Tommo) Thompson, who’s been kicking around the upper echelons of the P.R. Rag-Trade Media traps for yonks, first introduced me to the raunchy sound of Country Music. I heard it and I liked it, little dreaming that a couple of years later I’d be laying down these chart-bustin' tracks.

In my capacity as Emeritus Vice-Chancellor of the London School of Austrialian Studies, Shadow Cultural Attache to the Court of St. James and Chairperson of the Australian Chapter of the World Cheese Authority, I’m a self-taught singer. Currently, the voice you hear on this microgroove is completely ‘natural’ and ‘untrained’ in terms of singing.

Yet these tracks, mostly crafted by Aussie’s award-winning and internationally acclaimed songsmiths, Barry Humphries and Diane Millstead and arranged by ace muso David Mackay, have already had hard-nosed critics using adverbs like ‘comparatively nice’ and ‘quite acceptable’.

I guess you could say I am the acceptable voice of the Post Nashville Sound as we know it Down Under. I am also an up-market Johnny Cash and a thinking man’s Leonard Cohen. There’s even a bit of Dolly Parton in me, though I wouldn’t mind an even bigger bit of me in Dolly Parton. Are you with me?

This is a family record. Take it on your holiday with you and you’ll end up with a family.

It remains for me to thank Bob England and Tim Prior of Towerbell Records for making this waxing the fun it sounds and the Australian Cheese Board (literary and musical archives division) for paying the band, though let’s face it , Cliff Hall on keyboards, Chris Rae on guitar, Paul Westwood on bass and Graham Jarvis on drums would all have done it for nothing. No worries.

All the best,

Sir Les Patterson

Track Side 1 Side 2
1 Sir Les, Role Model for All Australian Ministers for the Yartz Discusses Diplomacy & Diversification Patterson's Pointers on Political Pitfalls
2 Genuine Never Trust A Man Who Doesn't Drink (Blue-Nosed Wowser)*
3 Lady Gwen Former Hand Model (The Woman Behind The Statesman) Les Exposes Himself And The Odd Masonic Secret
4 My Old Lady Motel Mini-Bar
5 Vinyl Venues, San Quentin Or Wormwood Scrubs? It's Stiff Cheddar, Chairing The Cheeseboard
6 Give Her One For Christmas (A Seasonal Chartbuster) Song Of Thanks
7 You Can't Win 'Em All Sir Les Outro & Encore
8 Help Me Make It Through The Night Desert Island Dilemmas
9 Bangkok Chiropody
10 13,000 Miles
* Australian convict slang for teetotaller or killjoy


Towerbell Records plc

Sir Les


The online archive of Dr. Sir Leslie Colin Patterson. Wit, sage, raconteur, late Cultural Attaché to the Court of St James and Chairperson of the Australian Chapter of the International Cheese Board.

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